Change Can Be a Good Thing

I had this thought about marriage today.  It came to me because a woman I know and her husband are divorcing.  I am typically shocked by anyone announcing to me that they are divorcing even though I have been through a divorce myself.  That's probably the reason that it shocks me, because I understand the thought that goes into making that decision, especially when there are children involved.  It's never made lightly, it's thoroughly thought out and usually is made with a heavy heart.  My thought was this; in marriages you grow, change, and sometimes discover a new version of yourself because life takes you in many different directions.  It's when your partner doesn't want to grow or change with you that the problem arises.  I believe that if you refuse to accept change for whatever reason, you can lose a person that leaves you behind.  Life is this never ending obstacle course.  I mean just when you thought things were smooth sailing, something comes along and you start jumping and climbing and fighting your way up, all over again.

There is one thing I've learned about being married.  You never end up with the person you started out with and you aren't the person you started out either.  If you don't grow together there is no other way but to grow apart.  So many things get in the way of staying on the same path.  Children make it difficult to find time to just be together.  Work and worries over finances cause stresses that make a person just want to isolate themselves to recover or drown in their choice of addictions to escape.  I've done it, my husband has done it, we've all done it and we all know the reasons why.  But at the end of the day if you can look at your spouse and still know them and like them, even if they are different than the person you started your journey with, you are doing okay.

I feel really awful for this woman I know because they seemed to be one of those "for the long haul" types and when you see those types splitting up, it makes you take a step back and really look at what you've got, to make sure you aren't missing some big sign that things are going wrong.  We are okay right now but it's a valuable lesson in not taking what you have for granted and allowing freedom of growth and self exploration in your relationship.

One last thing that came to mind.  You have to be honest with yourself and your spouse in a marriage.  If you just cannot be what they need or they are no longer what you need, why drag out a miserable relationship together if you would be happier apart?  I have seen that before as well and that's just as sad as a divorce.  People staying together because they think they must or because of the children isn't doing anyone any favors.  The fermentation of the relationship is obvious and if others can see it, imagine how the kids feel living in it day after day.  I'd be the last person to say divorce is the way to go but sometimes it truly works out better for everyone.

Good vibes, long lives, happy thoughts, and well being all around...

The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste.

Okay I will be the first to admit that I have a strange fascination with the mind.  The way people think and the choices that they make intrigue me.  I've spent countless hours interrogating my husband about his life growing up because it was such a strange upbringing.  I find myself very curious about why he made the decisions he did and what led him to allow people to guilt him into doing things he normally wouldn't do.  He's almost a completely different person today than he was the day I met him and that in of itself is curious to me since I really had no hand in making him this new person.  I think that the person he is today was always there but held down by a very controlling father and overprotective mother.  That's for another day though.

Today I'd like to talk about a little fascination I have with a certain celebrity couple.  They are pretty high profile and currently the man is splashed all over the place and yes they have one of those weird Hollywood joint names that people seem to be giving out in this new trend.

I'll admit that one of the things that makes me like this duo is the fact that they met at work and it was one of those instantaneous spark things.  I like it because it happened to me and here I am 8 years later.  I mean hello, you can meet that person of your dreams at your job.  But what fuels my desire to spend too many hours (not openly admitting how many) reading blogs and comment boards is that there is an entire group of people, and I don't know how large this group is, that honest to goodness do not believe that the two of them are together.  My mind is blown away by these people that spend so much time disputing what is so obvious, without words.  I say that because they haven't confirmed they are a couple but anyone with half a brain can see they are.  This is where my point is going, the half a brain thing, um it's the level of insanity of the people that choose to not believe that's got me hooked.  I sit and read their comments and ask myself what makes these people 1. Care so much about disputing this and 2. Refuse to believe what is right in front of their eyes?

To be completely honest, it can be hard to believe in HW couples now days because if you believe in gossip bloggers, there is a trend to keep gay rumors at bay by taking a partner of the opposite sex and pretending to be in a relationship with that person for weeks, months, and sometimes even years.  I believe that these people truly are selling a brand by selling themselves to their public which is why so many are into looking and acting as perfect as possible on the outside.  It's a package nonetheless and in some cases that packaging doesn't work as well if they are batting for the other team.  I hate to say it but if I find out that there are gay rumors about a certain actor I find attractive, I just don't look at them as believable in roles where they are a leading man seducing a woman.  It's the worry for future roles that keeps these people in the closet and taking on contractual relationships with the opposite sex to further their marketing appeal, hence the term, PR relationships.  With all of the speculation about couples pairing up for appearances, it's conceivable that people might have a hard time believing in something that seems a tad too convenient.  Thing is that could have been a good argument a year and a half ago but these two have been together for 2 years and not only are they not selling anything since they aren't putting it out there for sale, they don't seem to have that "tad too convenient" ring to them either since by all intents and purposes, it's not at all convenient for the two of them to remain a couple at all.  With death threats coming at either side and online petitions to keep one or the other from appearing at movie premiers, it seems like the convenient thing to do would be split up and pair up with someone that would make life a little easier and safer.  Since they haven't done that, it seems to me like it's the real deal.

Anyhoo, I'm just saying that the people that are so insanely crazy about the denials and the PR labels are becoming my perpetual train wreck.  It's almost a game to slow down and look and be oddly fascinated and scared at the same time.  If only I was the Sigmond Freud type to sit and analyze away why they do what they do but I'm not, and even Freud would have a difficult time figuring out who is behind a computer screen.  It's way too easy to be ambiguous on the internet and there is no way to tell which person you are dealing with when you read some of this stuff.  I will just have to remain curious and keep my distance from the insanity.

Starting From Scratch

I am new to this blog world stuff.  I follow a few blogs and I tried this blog thing once before but I have no idea where I left it or what I named it.  Goes to show you that it just wasn't that important.  Most of the time if I can't remember what it was, it wasn't important.  I really don't know how all of the things I need to remember on a daily basis fits in my head but it does, some where in there.


So I'm starting off light today.  I don't have a lot to say.  We had a light day of school so I had a little free time, not really but I pretend to have it by ignoring something I should be doing instead.  I decided to sit down and figure this thing out and will try to stick with it this time.  I tend to get started on one thing and forget about it and move onto something else.  It's a personality trait.  Good or bad it's just what I was born with and unfortunately it's permanently there.


Hopefully I will have an interesting topic to discuss tomorrow...stay tuned.